Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Decisions and Faith...
I'm up tonight a little bit later than normal because I have a decision that's weighing heavy on my mind. I'm very glad that God is a patient God because I feel like He has had to be with me lately. I feel like I know what I should do, and I'm afraid that the reason for this scared feeling in the pit of my stomach is not because I don't know what to do, but that I'm scared to do it. I've come face to face with the fact that perhaps I'm not as "spiritually mature" as I once thought. Maybe within me is a greater fear of man than I'd like to admit. I had thought I had worked this out within myself but this step that God is calling us to make is trying that belief. Then comes today...something happened that very subtly but effectively caught my attention. I have no doubt that God did this to me and for me on purpose. I am thankful for that, but I'm still scared. Why? I thought I had left behind the girl I used to be, to embrace the woman I've become and it hurts a little bit to realize that parts of the girl still exist.
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But that's good Kirstie--in the sense that "seeing the girl" again can help you to keep looking to Jesus and not inward for your own strength--it is in your very weakest--that He shows Himself to be strong--He wants others to know He is strong in your life, but also He wants you to know your utter dependance is on Him. He longs to get the glory--so rejoice and know that you haven't failed--you won't be perfected until heaven. When facing those you have to with your decision, prayerfully ask God to give you a verse to stand on--yet also realizing that those in the world as well as some well intentioned believers may not understand. But God's ways are higher and sometimes even us(the ones He is dealing with about the decision)don't understand. Know I love you sweet friend and sister--your honesty spurs me on--christy
ReplyDeleteIs this what I think it is about? What happened on Tuesday? Jen
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